A Fitness Favor

Seeing as how I’m not at university anymore, I no longer have ready access to an indoor track/exercise equipment. And, the beloved treadmill that has resided in my living room at home for several years recently shit the bed. Alas. So, I went in search of a gym in my hometown, because I knew the first day it rained and I wouldn’t be able to complete a scheduled run (yes, I’m a wuss who won’t run in the rain), I would flip out.

I actually prefer going to the gym to run over using a treadmill in my home (whenever I would do the latter, it would take me hours sometimes to do a run, just because I would stop for a water break every 15 minutes. It would get pretty ridiculous), so I don’t have a problem with shelling out for external treadmill access. But, I would not have discovered one pet peeve of mine had I never stepped foot in a gym:

I can’t stand it when there’s a whole row of treadmills/exercise equipment open and someone chooses the machine right next to me—it’s like when there’s a parking lot full of empty spaces and the next person to pull in chooses the space next to your car. I just don’t get it. Maybe I’m the only one bothered by this. Maybe everyone else who goes to the gym partially goes to experience having a sweaty body in close proximity to their’s because they’re not having sex and running next to someone on a treadmill is as close to doin’ it as they’re going to get. I, however, do not want someone right next to me, and the minute someone climbs onto the machine next to mine I immediately start leaning away. I am getting an unbalanced workout because of you needy bastards! Get away from me!

Regardless, this wouldn’t bother me quite so much if all those who stationed themselves next to me didn’t all seem to belong to those populations that either don’t believe in deodorant or bathes in perfume. So, here is my request:

DEAR GYM-GOING DUDES/LADIES:

If you are going to be one of those people who tries to experience sexy time vicariously through running next to me, please do not use excessive amounts of body spray/perfume before coming to the gym. It makes me choke and gives me a headache, and I can barely run when I’m feeling well. Likewise, to those folk who don’t believe in deodorant, please keep in mind that deodorant isn’t for you—it is for me. Specifically, it is to protect me from your stank, so please use it.

Love,

Liz

In other news, I started one of my two jobs. Yay! You see, since my radio job is only part time, I need to do somethin’ else to bring in the money, honey. Fortunately, I was able to secure the cemetery job that I’ve worked for the past three summers. Yes, I work at a cemetery, and I actually really enjoy it. Here is a picture of a portion of the cemetery!

Awesome, graves! I know some people may find the idea of working in a cemetery morbid, but I enjoy being outside (the job involves mowing/weed-whacking the 40-acre area three days a week) and it’s nice to be active. Occasionally, it does get a little depressing (a man’s young wife passed away last summer, and he visited the grave site every day, and it was just about the saddest thing ever), but otherwise I don’t mind being surrounded by death. Mostly, I just find checking out grave inscriptions interesting/historical, especially since some of the graves date back to the 1800s. Neat.

Do you have any pet peeves, gym-oriented or otherwise? Do cemeteries/death bother you? These questions are really unrelated to each other, dang.