Weigh-In Day: Week of April 9th


Last Week’s Weight: 129.7

This Week’s Weight: 129.1

Loss/Gain: 0.6 pound

Average Daily Caloric Intake: 1,750


04/09: 5-mile walk/run + 40-minute weightlifting session
04/10: Yoga
04/11: 1-hour weightlifting session + 2-mile run
04/12: 7-mile run
04/13: 7-mile walk/run
04/14: 7-mile walk + 20-minute weightlifting session
04/15: 7-mile walk/run

(Also, in case you were wondering, I did purposefully choose the Final Fantasy VI victory fanfare, ’cause that is my favorite Final Fantasy title. Yes.)

I am going to write a more introspective post on reaching my goal range later that you may or may not to read due to the level of cliché thoughts that it will contain, but, for now, here are some goals for the week:

1) Don’t go totally ape-shit bananas and overeat just because I’ve hit my maintenance range.

2) Eat only when I’m hungry. One of the terrible habits that comes with dieting—for me, personally—is just automatically eating every three hours or so to avoid getting “too hungry.” I’m going to continue counting calories for a bit (like I did the last time I start maintenance), but I’m going to start practicing some intuitive eating, too. And, in regards to that …

3) If I’m hungry, eat, even if I don’t have the “calories.”

4) Don’t step on the scale again before next Friday! Seriously, I drive myself crazy when I start weighing-in midweek, and half the time I end up stressing out over nothing.

5) Continue to be grateful everyday. Last week, I tried  to start each day with prayer, and as corny as it sounds, it set a nice tone for my day, and just trying to be grateful in general helped me be less negative.

I’m also going to bump my daily caloric intake up by an additional 50 calories this week (bringing my DCI to 1,600). I’m especially pleased about this loss this week, though, as I am *ahem* due for my “lady times.”*

And with that lovely thought, I am off to lift weights. HURGH MUSCLES.

* Sorry, again, dudes.


Weigh-In Day: Week of March 26th

So, originally I wasn’t going to have an “official” weigh-in day today, but in my infinite naiveté I thought I’d be back at goal weight today despite having splurged and thus able to start maintenance.


Last Week’s Weight: 128.4

This Week’s Weight: 132.2

Loss/Gain: 3.8 pounds

Average Daily Caloric Intake: 2,700 (Estimate)


03/26: 5-mile run/40-minute weight lifting session (Upper Body)
03/27: Yoga
03/28: 7-mile run
03/29: 7-mile run/20-minute weight lifting session (Upper Body)
03/30: 7-mile run
03/31: 2-mile run/1-hour weight lifting session
04/01: 7-mile walk

Almost 4 pounds?! Impossible! So, I dug out our Tanita scale in the basement (I should mention that I’m using the home scale today, rather than my usual WW scale that is up at school)—which had always been consistently accurate, but it weighed a bit on the heavy side—and it weighed me in at 131.2. I’m pretty sure chilly basements don’t affect that accuracy of scales, so I’m going to roll with this number. The gain number may not be accurate, though, depending on how the Tanita compares to my WW scale; I’m going to haul the former up to school with me, though, so I can compare. Yes, I am neurotic. But, I don’t want to get home and find out my scale weighs mad light and have to go from maintenance back to loss, that’s all.

Anyway, up three pounds, le sigh. And I’ve been stuck at the same weight for four days, now, which is a bit odd. But, regardless, I can tackle three weeks more of “dieting”; I just did ten, so this will be a breeze. And, maybe my body will surprise me and be like “O HAI I LOST MORE THAN A POUND THIS WEEK LOL.”

I’m actually wondering if I should eat more, though; according to the Internet (THE MOST RELIABLE SOURCE EVA), I need about 2,400 calories to maintain my weight with my activity level, which means eating an average of 1,700 calories while dieting may be a bit low. But, I’m on a deadline (I want to be DONE by April 23rd and able to do a few weeks of maintenance before I head home on May 11th) so I’m hesitant to adjust my intake to more. Hmmm.

Weigh-In Day: Week of March 19th

Oh, man, I had such the anticipation this morning. So much so, that when I woke up at 2:15 a.m. and decided I wanted a “sneak peak” of my weight for the week, I was so anxious before stepping on the scale that I couldn’t get back to sleep after weighing myself. Now here I am, writing a blog entry at 4:41 a.m., running on three hours of sleep on the first day of my spring break. Woo. Ah, well, I’m catching a bus home in a few hours (yay, home!), so I’m thinking I’ll just nap then. Though, I hate napping on buses … people around, just waiting for you to fall asleep so they can put you in weird positions and take pictures of you to put on the Intrawebs. Curses! Anyway, the moral of the story is I need to wait until it’s actually “getting up” time to weigh myself, because I can’t keep waking up on Fridays at 2 a.m. (by the way, this happened last week, too). It’s ridiculous, both the getting up so early and the being so jacked-up about my weight. Pah.


Last Week’s Weight: 131.3

This Week’s Weight: 128.4 (!)

Loss/Gain: 2.9 pounds

Average Daily Caloric Intake: 1,760

03/19: 5-mile run/40-minute weight lifting session (Upper Body)
03/20: Yoga
03/21: 2-mile run/30-minute elliptical session/1-hour weight lifting session
03/22: 7-mile run
03/23: 7-mile run
03/24: 7-mile run/20-minute weight lifting session (Upper Body)
03/25: 7-mile walk/30-minute elliptical session

This is hell of awesome, and not just because I’m at my goal weight. You see, the last time I began a diet in January at around the same weight as where I started this time, it took me until October to hit my goal weight, as you can see from the archives. That means it took me EIGHT MONTHS to lose about 10 pounds. This time, because I put my foot down about binge eating, it took me 10 WEEKS to lose the same quantity of weight. So, while I’m excited about being at my goal weight, I’m more excited to find that I have self-control and—should I put on a few pounds in the future—I’m capable of taking it off relatively quickly. Though, I hope for the most part that my binge eating days are now behind me, and a significant weight gain won’t be a problem again—or, at least it won’t be a problem again for a very long time.

That having been said, I would be more excited to be at my goal weight except that I had planned a splurge day for myself to celebrate Easter while I’m home (yes, I know I just said that I hoped my binge eating days were behind me, but I’m hoping it will be a SPLURGE day and not a BINGE day, but regardless I think I deserve a day to eat what I want. And, I know I can keep it to one day), and since I’ve been looking forward to it and I’m not really ready to jump into maintenance after having had a splurge day, I’m just going to stay on plan until I’m back down to my goal weight, which I imagine won’t take more than a week or two if I only take the one “day off” from healthy eating.

This post is probably riddled with spelling/grammatical errors. Ciao, internet! Wish me a harassment-free bus ride!

Do you have trouble sleeping? What do you do if you can’t fall back asleep after waking up in the middle of the night?

Decisions, Decisions

So! I have done some blog-oriented thinking, and here is what you can expect to see in the future:

1) More reviews. I love to judge things. It’s true! I am a horrible person in this way, but it is to your advantage, as it means I am going to try and post more opinion-type deals on this blog. And, not just on food items, but movies, video games, books, etc. Which also means …

2) This is going to be more of a “lifestyle” blog, now. More media/journalism centric, but still “healthy living.” I may also share weight loss advice/details on occasion (though, hopefully it’ll be more “maintenance” advice/details, soon), but I’m not really ever going to do a “this is what I eat in a day!” post, again; there are enough people out there who share pictures of the apples they eat every day, at the moment.*

Also, I’ve kind of come to terms with writing about the details about my diet, seeing as how a) I advocate losing weight in a healthy way, and eat more calories than most people do while losing weight and b) I think it’s helpful to people to know that others struggle with binge eating/dieting. So, maybe I’m making excuses for myself just so I can write about losing/maintaining weight, but whatever. Anyway, I’ll make a “Beating the Binge” post and a post detailing what changes I’ve made to my diet/excercise program in my absence sometime in the near future.

c) Theme days, maybe? In addition to doing reviews, I may do something like “New Things Thursday” where I share some kind of new product/food/Web site that may not necessarily be brand new, but new to me.


*That was kind of harsh, sorry.

Experimenting in Indulgence

Ahhhhhhh … Finals week is done. I am home. Life is pretty deece. (Deece = Decent.)

I had my first day of my “one indulgence per day but count everything else” plan, yesterday. It’s funny, though, that although I said I was going to do it, in the back of my mind I thought, “Well … maybe I can actually count calories until Christmas and lose a few more pounds.” But, when I came home, I was confronted with the prospect of … Magic Cookie Bars.

Magic Cookie Bars are delightful. And also a hell of binge-trigger food, as I have absolutely no idea how many calories they contain and such, being a home made baked good. Granted, I could have calculated the calories and counted the bars, but I thought, I get one indulgence per day … Let’s do this thing.

I almost succumbed to ye olde binge while getting supplies at the grocery store: I bought a candy bar, but counted it (my plan involves following my 1,500 calories per day plan with one indulgence per day). I almost caved and let myself have the bar for “free,” but I knew if I didn’t count the candy bar, everything else would get a pass as an additional indulgence. At the end of the night, here’s what I had eaten for the day:

+ Almonds (Pre-workout snack)

+ Cereal (Breakfast)

+ McDonald’s Grilled BBQ Snack Wrap (Lunch while driving home from Brandeis)

+ Jr. Frosty (Treat)

+ Lindt Candy Bar (Treat)

+ Wendy’s Ultimate Chicken Grill (Quick Dinner)

+ Two slices of bread (Brush with Cupboard Diving)

+ Seven Jelly Beans (Wanted to try them)

+ Cookie Bars with Low Fat Vanilla Ice cream (Free Indulgence)

Ha, ha! Victory! Granted, I probably eat more cookie bars than I should have, but I also made them at 4 p.m., and the last one didn’t disappear until 11:30 p.m., and they were split among three people. I probably also ate more ice cream than I should have, but I’d say that for the first day of having a non-counted treat outside my diet plan, this is pretty good. Basically, I’m just trying to break the binge habit and learn to have one treat instead of a million. And, I might not even have an indulgence today; I’m not really craving anything, though that ice cream IS calling my name (Yes, there’s still some left.)

Ugh, I have an eight mile run scheduled for the day, and it is hell of raining outside. I’m going to just run on the treadmill, but eight miles on the treadmill is going to be so boring.

Inspiration from the Internet

One of the things I love about food blogs is that so many of the authors are relatable; it’s amazing, when you start perusing said blogs, how many recovering/struggling binge eaters you come across. My problem, it seems, isn’t that uncommon.

Anyway, while I was digging through blogs looking to see how people coped with binge eating, I came across this post in Elina’s blog. I’ve been reading Healthy and Sane for awhile, now (it’s one of my favorites, and I now have a long list of Boston eateries to visit thanks to her), and it was a great source of inspiration for someone like me who is struggling with binge eating (You may remember that I quoted one of her posts relating to binge eating, before.) Anyway, this particular post essentially details a conversation Elina had with a RD regarding how to overcome binge eating. I won’t recap the whole entry here (you’ll have to read the whole thing for yourself), but the RD recommends allowing yourself one indulgence per day—but, only one.

And, after reading this entry, I’ve made an executive decision to try this plan, myself between Dec. 8 and Dec. 23, before my designated “Intuitive Eating” days. You see, this afternoon, I was literally planning the binge I was going to have the day before I started my “post-holiday” diet. And I thought, “Why do I have this all or nothing mentality?” I think the reason is similar to that behind Elina’s binges; that is, I associate not counting calories with the free-for-all day I used to have once a week during my WW days. Regardless, I need to learn to eat only what I want, rather than a bunch of junk PLUS what I wanted simply because I went over my calorie count or had an indulgence.

I’m not going to lie; I’m a little scared. But, the fact of the matter is, I feel like if I don’t do something like this, I’m not going to learn how to eat like a normal person. And, I’m freaked out by the potential weight gain; “I’m going to put on so much weight before I start my diet!” But, if I can overcome bingeing, it’ll come off that much quicker. And, I’m not losing any weight right now, anyway, because of the bingeing (in fact, as of this morning I’ve gained weight [I know, I said I wasn’t going to weigh myself before weigh-in day], which has me freaked even more.)

But, at present, I’m just trying to decide if I want to weigh myself again after tomorrow before January 1; I don’t want to get freaked out by a gain and fall off the progress wagon.

Anyway, I’m so excited to be going home tomorrow, WHOO! I just hope I don’t fail my Politics exam, though this seems like it would be pretty difficult to do considering that we’re allowed to use our notes during the exam. But … I feel like this is a trap.


So, not to be Captain Obvious for those bloggers/readers in Boston, but DUDES IT IS TOTALLY SNOWING OUTSIDE.

And, when I say this, it is not with excitement.

I hate the cold. In fact, after graduating, I hope to move somewhere warm—somewhere where the winter doesn’t bring postponement of plans and the inability to run outside whenever I damn well please. I’ve lived in the Northeast my entire life and, quite frankly, I am sick of shoveling snow. PAH, SNOW. PAH I SAY TO YOU. Regardless, I am willing to forgive the weather so long as it doesn’t interfere with my final exam on Tuesday; it’s the last thing between me and going home for winter break, and I cannot wait to get out of here.

Luckily, I took advantage of the non-snowiness this morning and snuck in a run while the getting was good. When I first stepped outside, today, I actually had every intention of just going to the gym and doing my run there (“OMG IT IS SO CHILLAY AND I AM A WIMP”), but all the treadmills were being used! How dare these Weekend Warriors stand in the way of my desire to excercise in a warm area. I AM A BABY, GODDAMMIT, AND MUST BE CODDLED. Anyway, I took a look at the sky (it was about 8:30 A.M., and I knew snow was forthcoming), and just started charging down the street. It. Was. AWESOME. It’s funny, I hardly ever look forward to my runs, but I always enjoy them, especially when they end up happening outdoors—an outdoor run always flies by for me.

On the binge eating front, I’ve been keeping it together for the last two days (Hooray!), but I need to hit the grocery store tomorrow and all this stress is setting me up for trouble; over the course of the evening, I’ve been thinking of all the tasty things I’d like to chomp on while studying for my exam (see a connection, here?). But, I managed to “white knuckle” it yesterday, and I’m just going to keep fighting the fight. Honestly, I think you just need to get to a point where you put your foot down and say, “ENOUGH.” Am I there yet? I don’t know, but I’ve just come to the realization that I am 21-years old and I essentially eat like a domesticated animal. I need to start eating like an adult.

Part of the reason I’m stressed, though, is because I am going home, and while home I sometimes feel a certain lack of control over my eating habits. There’s a lot of focus on eating/weight in my family, and sometimes I feel abnormal because of comments they make in response to my decision to diet or eat healthfully. For example: I honestly sometimes just do not like to go out to eat—I know there are copious amounts of calories in restaurant meals, so that aspect just makes the meal less than enjoyable, and restaurant food also tends to sit in my stomach like lead. It’s just a feeling I don’t enjoy, but if I decline I get passive-aggresive commentary on occasion, and then I feel guilty for not going out with people because that’s what “normal” people do, and then I do go out and don’t enjoy it and binge. Blergh.

But, I am going to try and eat like an “adult” while I’m home; if I have an indulgence or go out to eat, that should be it. I really want to conquer this before I start my “post-holiday” diet; not bingeing will make the journey go so much quicker, and it’ll mean I can get around to eating more and maintaining my weight sooner. Yessir. It’s hard to control yourself, though, when food is right in front of you; when you get into that binge mentality, it’s like you entirely forget about consequenes. Does anyone else have this problem?

Weigh-In Day: Week of November 24

Well, let’s see where we are one binge and six days of clean eating after my last weigh-in day.

Last Week’s Weight: 134.2

This Week’s Weight: 131.2

Loss/Gain: 3 pounds

Average Daily Caloric Intake: 2,245 (This takes into account the binge I had Tuesday in addition to all the days I stayed on plan.)


11/24: Yoga 
11/25: 8 mile Easy run
11/26: 3 mile Easy run/30 min. elliptical session
11/27: 30 min. elliptical session/1 hr. weight lifting session
11/28: 6.4 mile Quality run/30 min. elliptical session
11/29: 20 min. upper body workout/4.6 mile Easy run
11/30: 6 mile Tempo run

Well, seeing as how I binged the day before my weigh-in and it was also the week of my lady times, most of this loss is probably water weight. But, seeing as how I also binged the day of my weigh-in, this isn’t too shabby. Of course, now the key is to not put an intense amount of pressure on myself to be under 130 by the time I go home for break. Here’s how such situations usually go:

“Hey, hey, listen! If you eat really, really low cal. for the next week maybe you could be [insert certain weight here] by [event/date]!”

“Whoah … you really think so?”

“Yeah, totally!”


Five days and 6,000 calories later …

“OhmyGodIamsohungry.” /cue binge

“Well, that was counterproductive.” 

We don’t want that. This week, we just want to keep eatin’ healthy and feelin’ good and not bingin’, ’cause then I’ll do better handling stress and doin’ my end-of-the-semester work. Yeah! Even if I don’t lose this week, I’ll still be at a really good pre-holiday/going home to indulge weight. I’m hoping that come January 1, I won’t be above 135, so we’ll see.

This week, though, I really want to step on the scale just this once. Yes, after my initial weigh-in day, my binge on Tuesday prompted me to weigh myself daily this week, and it definitely affected my eating habits. But right now, I need to listen to my body, NOT watch the number on the scale, and because of where I am psychologically it’s difficult for me to do both at this point in time. When I start my post-holiday diet, though, I might start taking my measurements; I used to do so back in high school, and it’s really a good way to track your progress. For, even though I weigh 131 at the moment, I feel … toighter (like a toiger) than I did the last time I was 131. But, do i really need to include more numbers in my life?

Eh, I hate it when you can’t decide whether you’re actually hungry. I just chomped some pre-Yoga almonds, and I’m not sure whether I still have the hunger. Hm.

Happy December First, everyone! Let’s make it a good month.

According to Plan

Sorry for the lack of detailed posts, dudes/ladies; I’ve been plowing through end-of-the-semester papers, and honestly the last thing I felt like doing the last couple of days after writing analys … es? … z? I have no idea what the plural of “analysis” is. Yes, I am an English major. Shut up. BUT, I DIGRESS. The last thing I felt like doing the last couple of days after spending all day working on an essay was spending more time at my computer, especially since my computer is being such a d-bag; it runs Windows Vista, so the operating system has never been stellar, but the hardware has been going lately, too. Ugh. I’d shell out for a Netbook to finish out college, but I don’t want to waste money when I’m going to be graduating soon and looking at a new set of computing needs.

Anyway, it wasn’t terrible being up at school for Thanksgiving, just mildly depressing. Christmas is my favorite holiday, anyway, and Thanksgiving is all the way down at #4 on my list of “Best Holidays EVA,” but I still missed ye olde traditional cranberry/stuffing/family chillaxin’. Regardless, Christmas is the big “get together” holiday in my family, so I didn’t really miss anything that won’t be repeated in a few weeks. However, my time spent at school has been very productive, except for that hour I spent locked out of my suite on Thanksgiving Day. Which was followed by me crying in front of the police officer who was trying to make conversation when I went to the station to be let back into my dorm. Alas. Unfortunately, I’m one of those people who gets horrendously emotional when they’re stressed out.

But, while my ego was bruised as a result of stress, my waistline has not been (yet, at least); there have been several times over the last few days where I’ve just wanted to cave and binge, but I know that with every day that I don’t binge, the urge will be lessened. Ity definitely helps not having any trigger foods in the dorm, though; it’s much easier to prevent a binge when you can’t reach out and snag a pack of cookies right when the urge strikes.

Anyway, right now, as much as I would love to be losing weight and such, I really think I need to conquer binge eating first. And, I know if I can beat this, then it’ll make for a much easier time when I do get around to losing/maintaining. I really think that binge eating has just become a bad habit, and my automatic response to stress. So, I just need to replace that response with a different one and white knuckle it, I reckon.


From now through Dec. 23, I’m going to count calories as best I can. But, if a special event comes up, I’m going to partake. BUT, there is also a “No non-Holiday Specific Treats” ban in place, which sounds weird, but for me it makes sense; you see, my problem isn’t so much with bingeing at special events at such. Rather, its in the aftermath of those events when I think “Oh, the day is already ruined, let’s go get a pint of ice cream/random sugar from the grocery store!” So, I’ve come to associate special events/holidays with binge eating. BAD. Thus, at the moment, I’m just focusing on learning to enjoy a solitary indulgence. If I get more specific, my goal is to stay under 3,000 calories per day from now until Dec. 23. Come Dec. 24, I’m going to give myself three days of intuitive eating, during which time I’ll hopefully be able to apply the binge-restriction eating habits I’ve developed between now and then. I’m hoping that over that three day span, I’ll have lost the desire to binge and will just eat my normal meals with some holiday-specific indulgences. NO CUPBOARD DIVING*/TRIPS TO THE GROCERY STORE, SELF. Then, Dec. 27, I’ll start my full weight loss program.

I told you I was a planner.

“Too bad your plans never work,” says Pessimistic Self, who then high-fives that kid who punched you in the stomach in kindergarten.

HEY! Not cool. Also, something has to work sometime, right? And a binge eater is not who I want to be, I’ve realized. So, hush ye mouth and be amazed as I actually succeed maybe.

Blergh, I should get back to work. I’m pretty pleased, though, that I’ve succesfully added some extra excercise to my schedule; the past two days, I’ve hit the elliptical for an extra 30 minutes per day and done some upper body weight lifting. NEAT. I’m really starting to feel a difference in my fitness level, too; I’m hoping that by getting stronger now, it’ll make for an easier weight loss quest post-holidays.

*Cupboard Diving (noun): The act of eating entirely random things (i.e., slices of bread, cheese, etc.) while bingeing that usually are not particularly tasty and are eaten just because the chomper feels like eating more.

The Morning After

You may have noticed from the statistic in the weight-related sidebar that I’ve begun weighing myself again. Well, the deal with myself was that if I didn’t binge, I could stay off the scale. But, because I started to chomp like crazy, I had to step back on. I’m not disappointed by the number, except in the sense that I’m disappointed by the fact that I didn’t continue to eat healthy, as being 134.2 the day after a binge probably means that I was only a few pounds over my goal range. Le sigh. Of course, that number is probably higher now that I’ve had a second binge, but, who knows—if I stay on plan this week, maybe I can pull of a small loss or maintain. Regardless, I’m restricting my weigh-ins to once a week; any more than that and I just get obessive.

I’m trying to develop a plan that’s going to work with me over the holidays, and I think what I’m going to do is begin each day counting calories, and if a celebratory event comes up, then I’ll participate, because life is short and such. But, I am no longer allowed to buy sweets for myself/outside of a social context. This may seem kind of drastic, but I feel I have good reasons to do so:

a) Sugar only ramps up my appetite.

b) Desserts take up a huge chunk of my calorie allowance.

c) Most non-homemade, storebought sweets aren’t really that good. And, they’re expensive to boot.

d) Whenever I give up sweets (e.g., during Lent), I always lose a ridiculous quantity of weight and don’t really binge. Because, if I’m not eating sweets, what’s there to binge on?

So, there you have it. And, I think once I buckle down and begin my “post-holiday” diet, I’m going to eliminate sweets altogether until I’m done losing weight. But, for the moment, I’m just trying to minimize weight-gain damage while maximizing holiday enjoyment.

… GRAH I’M SO ANNOYED I BINGED! If I had stayed on plan, I probably could have been at my goal weight by the beginning of winter break grumble grumble.

AHEM. Anyway, hopefully with the above plan I won’t gain too much weight; I’d really like to not have more than seven or eight pounds to lose when I begin my post-holiday diet, as this way I can be done in about two months if I really buckle down. Basically, I’m just shooting to be done several weeks before any major holiday so I have some time to get a handle on maintaining my weight. Fortunately, after Christmas, next said major holiday isn’t until Easter, which is April 4. And, if I don’t binge between now and then AND DON’T BINGE ONCE I START MY PLAN I AM LOOKING AT YOU, SELF, then this should be easy-peasey.

In the meantime, here are some reasons not to binge:

1) I feel horrible after. Seriously, I’m sick to my stomach after a binge, and the morning of I’m burping up last night’s transgressions. Also, I am hell of tired from not sleeping well on account of the sour stomach I had last night, so I have no motivation to run OR tackle the massive pile of work I need to do.

2) It’s wasteful AND expensive.

3) I want to eat like a normal person/be at my goal weight by graduation. Seriously, I’m going to be embarking on a whole new stage of my life and meeting a bunch of new people after my May graduation, and I do NOT want to be bogged down by this. I want to be comfortable in my body, be able to go out on a whim and just not worry about food.

Alright … running/slogging time.

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