Obsession, by Scale-vin Klein

OK, I know I said there was going to be a minor hiatus, here, but I am going crazy and I need to vent.

I started over-analyzing myself this morning.

“Hm, that ridge in my stomach wasn’t there before. Is that a good ridge or a bad ridge? Is this fat coming back or going away and revealing new … ridges?”

“I look bloated. Or am I just gaining weight? Oh, my God, I must maintain my weight 1,700 calories per day and now I’m overeating AHMYGAWD.”

Now, every time I see a mirror, I am compulsively checking out how much my stomach is protruding and I am also compulsively feeling myself up every five minutes. I am glad I am graduating soon, because after today everyone on campus is going to think I am a pervert.

Regardless, what’s the worse case scenario, here? Say I do maintain my weight at 1,700 calories per day. That would mean by having consumed an average of 1,850 calories last week and 1,900 calories this week, I would gain about seven-tenths of a pound. And, even if I did, I’d still be in my maintenance range, and come Friday I’ll just cut back my calories. And, how likely is it that I really only need 1,700 calories per day? I work out, I’m 5’6″, and I’m 21 years old. I must need more than that, right?

Regardless, CALM DOWN, SELF. Just because you’re eating more doesn’t mean you’re going to gain an absurd amount of weight in two weeks.

Should I just weigh myself tomorrow, though, and know for sure whether or not I should be worried? Or, should I just hold on until Friday because I could just be retaining water at the moment?

Also, DOES ANYONE ELSE ACT LIKE A CRAZY PERSON or is it just me BECAUSE IT FEELS LIKE IT’S JUST ME.

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4 Comments

  1. Allison said,

    May 3, 2010 at 6:40 PM

    1. You are so not a crazy person, I’m crazy too!

    Actually, that makes no sense. The logic in that previous statement says “I am crazy, therefore, you are NOT crazy” which is pretty illogical. So maybe actually you ARE crazy! But if you are, don’t worry because you’re not alone! But in actuality, I don’t think you’re crazy, because I don’t think I’m actually crazy either. MOVING ON

    2. I personally think your body needs more than 1750 cals a day or whatever it is to maintain your weight. Therefore, I think that if you stick to 1700-1800 a day, you WILL lose weight. Slowly, but you will lose it. So if you’ve been hitting that range each day, just keep it at, and you WILL lose weight, especially if you’re eating a healthy ratio of carbs, protein, fat, etc, blah blah whatever else is good for you, which it seems like you are.

    3. Which means, if you ate an average of 1850 last week, and 1900 this week, you will not gain weight. There is no way that your active body maintains its weight on 1700, or even 1750 cals a day. SO. If you DO weigh in, and you HAVE gained weight, do not stress. Bodies are weird. It could be water weight, hormones, another arm that grew out of your back when you weren’t looking (the plus side: now, you can multitask more! Plus, a great conversation starter!), WHO KNOWS.

    • May 3, 2010 at 9:03 PM

      Dear Allison,
      Thank you for tolerating/soothing my neuroses. Seriously, though, I need to get it together and stop annoying the internet, but I am glad I am not the only who is crazy HOORAY LET’S START A CLUB
      But, I am just going to listen to your reason and chill out. Sometimes, you know logic in your mind, but you just need to hear it from someone else ’cause you are like, “SELF YOU ARE CRAZY THERE IS NO WAY THAT WHAT IS IN YOUR BRAIN IS LOGICAL”

      • Allison said,

        May 4, 2010 at 8:41 PM

        No worries! You are not annoying the internetz at all. I love reading your blog. At least, you’re not annoying ME. Keep writing! I should really try to get back into writing on my blog too >.<

      • May 6, 2010 at 7:16 AM

        Aw, thank you, I am glad I am not annoying you, at least.
        And you certainly should start writing again, particularly since I really enjoyed your blog! AND MY ENJOYMENT IS REALLY ALL THAT MATTERS SO GET CRACKIN


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