Torture by Scale

I made the mistake of weighing myself this morning, thus simultaneously breaking one of my goals for the week and throwing myself into a state of hyper-anxiety.

First Thought: “131?!”

Second Thought: “BLOO HOO HOO WHYYYYY”

Third Thought: “WAIT. The last time you were at this point in your cycle*, didn’t you lose 1.8 pounds in between Thursday and Friday? And today’s Wednesday, so everything is fine!”

Fourth Thought: “WAIT. Last week, I only lost .9 of a pound in between Wednesday and weigh-in day. I’M GOING TO GAIN THIS WEEK AHHHHHH.”

I know better than to do this to myself. You see, I’m 90% sure the scale and my body are in cahoots and enjoy screwing with me, and I know that I’m just as likely to lose three pounds before Friday as I am to gain three pounds. And yet, I can’t help but climb on the scale during the week. Le sigh. And, of course, this weigh-in will now be accompanied by a million more weigh-ins: It’s like I need to check every .05 second to see if I’ve lost, now.

ALRIGHT, NEW GOAL: Only weigh myself ONCE A DAY in between now and Friday. If I have to weigh myself, at least do it only once a day, you know?

Still, looking at my current gain, I have to wonder why it’s the weeks we try the hardest that we seem to lose the least amount of weight. It’s like, if I knew I was going to gain, I would have just done it the old fashioned way and overeaten.

Ah, well. Maybe my body has a magic “two-pounds-in-two-days” loss up it’s sleeve. But, I reckon if the worst thing to happen to me in my present life is that I gain weight this week and have to wait to start maintenance, I’m pretty damn fortunate.

P.S. – Was anyone else mildly disappointed by “Glee” last night? The whole “Hello” theme felt kind of forced, at times, especially when Finn gave that spiel before singing “Hello, I Love You.”

* Sorry, dudes.

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