Struggling With Being Social

So, I’m back up at the school (for what is—hopefully—my last five weeks as a college student) and according to my scale, I’m 0.2 of a pound heavier today than I was yesterday, so contrary to my initial belief I’m thinking my scale weighs me the same as my home scale. But, regardless, I’m not going to flip out if I get home and find after a few weeks of maintenance I’ve been maintaining a weight of 129 rather than 128.

Anyway, as the title of this posts suggests, I’d like to discuss combining healthy eating/dieting with having a social life heute.*

Recently, a friend invited me to go out next Friday and, realizing how non-social I’ve been lately, I agreed to head to a movie with him. Then, panic set in:

“Whoah, that is a late movie. What if I need snack? Oh, man, I might be starting maintenance that day; what if I have get too hungry while I’m out and I totally lose it and set myself back? THIS IS NOT GOING TO WORK.”

So, I called and cancelled. Ridiculous, right? Of course, this isn’t entirely due to my weight-related fears; I’m also graduating soon, and I’m a) overwhelmed with work, which makes me hesitant to go out and stressed, and whenever I’m stressed my other anxieties are amplified, and b) I’m just not very motivated to hang out with people I’ll probably never see again after the next five weeks and who I’m not very close to. But, definitely most of my social anxiety can be traced to food-related issues.

I’m not nearly as obsessed with the number on the scale as I used to be, but I feel as though I’ve been counting calories so long that the idea of being out and forced to eat something that I don’t know the EXACT calories of wigs me out. Yes, I know no one is going to force a Vermonster down my throat and there are plenty of healthy options out there, but I’ve developed some OCD tendencies, it seems. And, I really don’t want to get into the same social rut after I graduate that I seem to be stuck in, now. So, my question to you all, is …

For those of you who have had a long anti-social streak due to dieting/food anxieties, how did you break out of this mindset?

Yep. Personally, I’m thinking I’m just going to have to take baby steps (i.e., making sure I go out at least once a week, etc.), but I’m hoping once I start maintenance/realize I can splurge a bit at my goal weight I’ll be more confident and prepared to venture into the world. For the next few weeks, though, I’m going to give myself a pass and let myself concentrate on school.

In other news, I totally lost my shit this morning at the gym; I was on the treadmill, rocking my last mile when this girl tripped over my cord and unplugged my machine. When I realized what happened, I turned to her and said, “Dude,” … but not the reason why I was addressing her. So, basically, I just said “Dude” to some random chick at the gym this morning. But, five minutes later, I also dropped a hell of f-bomb when I knocked my iPod off the treadmill panel and onto the belt while it was going seven miles per hour. Yep. What, I just wanted to be done AND THERE WERE SO MANY DELAYS SUDDENLY I JUST FLIPPED.


* Yeah, that’s German for “today.” That’s right, I threw some foreign talk into this post, and I am totally helping you learn new things.


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