Product Review: Ben & Jerry’s Mud Pie Ice Cream

When Ben & Jerry’s discontinued their “Vermonty Python” flavor, I just about flipped my shit.

No more “coffee liqueur ice cream with a chocolate cookie crumb swirl and fudge cows?” Like hell! And so, every day for approximately a year, I sent a letter to the company DEMANDING that they bring back my tasty, tasty treat.

“ARE YOU MAD. VERMONTY PYTHON WAS YOUR BEST FLAVOR.”

“WHY DO YOU KEEP PUTTING OUT NEW FLAVORS WITH CARAMEL. ARE YOU IN CAHOOTS WITH THE CARAMEL COMPANY I AM ON TO YOU.”

“SERIOUSLY YOU HAVE NO OTHER COFFEE FLAVORS BRING BACK VERMONTY PYTHON.”

And, yes, they were in all caps. I really like ice cream. Also, I am 90% sure there is someone at Ben & Jerry’s who is now mentally scarred because of my demands. I am OK with this.

Anyway, when the company recently released “Mud Pie,” I was pretty FRICKIN’ EXCITED, since the product description strongly resembled that of “Vermonty Python”: “Mud Pie” is described as “chocolate and coffee liqueur ice creams swirled together with a chocolate cookie swirl,” which is pretty much just “Vermonty Python” but with chocolate ice cream instead of fudge cows (which I wasn’t too fond of, anyway).

Unfortunately, “Mud Pie” failed to achieve the same delicious heights as its fallen brethren. To begin, the mixed ice cream flavor falls victim to “flavor disproportion” syndrome, which entails having much more of one flavor of ice cream than the other. In the case of “Half Baked,” another Ben & Jerry’s flavor that features two types of ice cream, this means the pint is always predominately chocolate ice cream (rather than an equal mix of chocolate and vanilla), and with “Mud Pie” it’s the same deal: There’s way more chocolate ice cream than the coffee liqueur variety. This wouldn’t be a huge problem except a) I’m not a huge fan of Ben & Jerry’s chocolate ice cream (it’s kind of bland for my taste; not especially rich or creamy, but more like chocolate milk that has been made into ice cream) and b) I bought “Mud Pie” because I wanted coffee liquor ice cream—if I wanted chocolate ice cream, I would have bought one of the many other flavors that have chocolate ice cream as its base.

I was even more disappointed, though, when I found that the “coffee liqueur” ice cream didn’t taste anything like the coffee liqueur ice cream that comprised “Vermonty Python.” Instead, it tasted more like the irish cream liqueur ice cream in Ben & Jerry’s “Dublin Mudslide” flavor, and when the coffee liqueur ice cream was eaten with a bit of the chocolate, “Mud Pie” essentially tasted JUST LIKE “Dublin Mudslide,” but without the latter flavor’s coffee fudge swirl.

I have to admit, the crisp, bittersweet chocolate cookie swirl in “Mud Pie” was quite tasty and plentiful, but I didn’t buy “Mud Pie” ice cream for the cookies and ultimately they weren’t enough to convince me that I should buy this flavor again. Indeed, I eventually put half the container in the trash, just because I didn’t feel like the remaining servings were worth the 270 calories a pop.

Ah, “Vermonty Python”—will no flavor be able to fill your delicious shoes?

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