By Popular Demand …

I received one response regarding what people would like to see this blog become, and majority rules, so by popular demand this blog will now be entirely devoted to pictures of sexy dudes/ladies dipping their feet in Peanut Butter:

[OK, so I actually searched on the Internet for a picture of this to put here, and there was totally not a picture of someone putting their feet in Peanut Butter, WHICH IS TOTALLY RIDICULOUS BECAUSE IF A FETISH EXISTS YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO FIND IT ON THE INTERNET. Anyway, sorry to disappoint, Allison.]

But, I lied about the hiatus, because to be honest, this blog is partially for me; I am not an entirely unselfish person, I KNOW IT IS HARD TO BELIEVE. This is basically a public diary, and goddammit, I want to write about my PERSONAL JOURNEY. So, suck on it. But, for those of you who enjoy it, thank you for stopping by and I am glad/hope that it is somehow relatable for you. I have to agree with a certain visitor whose name I will censor to protect from the viciousness of the Internet, though; I feel like everyone and their sister’s blog mostly entails pictures of what they ate that day. This displeases me, especially when it is not accompanied by an additional commentary, like “I ate this because this food has blee-blah nutritional attributes!,” or, “I ate this because I was stressed! Grr, it’s a trigger food! Do you have those?” I like blogs to TEACH me a thing, or at least share something interesting. And, while it is sometimes interesting to see how a person eats healthy, a picture of your sandwich isn’t going to improve my own eating habits, really. Sorry. (Did that make sense?)

Also, yes, I know this started as a “food journal” blog, but I very, very quickly became bored with this, and here is the thing: Chances are, if you are bored with writing a thing, then chances are what you write is going to be boring, and no wants to read things that are boring. Well … maybe some people do. Maybe some people have a fetish for … reading boring … things … while watching women dip their feet in peanut butter.

(P.S. – If you are interested in this and want to come to my “boring content/peanut butter-dipping” convention please e-mail me at pbandboring@nofingway.com.)

ANYWAY, onwards, to unoriginal content!

So, I avoided another binge today, but while I was originally going to skip my indulgence for the day (just for the sake of being healthy), I caved and ate a thing when I became stressed. Did I binge? No, but I really want my automatic response to stress to not be eating. But, at least I didn’t binge, right? Granted, I had been craving the indulgence I had today for two days, now (I wanted it yesterday, but passed in favor of having a day where I didn’t indulge, just to make sure I still possessed some willpower), and I tried to wait it out, but I got a little stressed and headed to the grocery store for a treat. Also, in a close brush with a binge, I chomped a candy bar that ended up not getting counted. It was a big one, too (Green & Black, IT IS NOT MY FAULT I ATE YOU, EVERYONE ON THE INTERNET TOLD ME TO AND I HAD TO TRY YOU), but other than that I didn’t eat anything besides my indulgence (A pint of Ben & Jerry’s with a Warm Delight Mini … and then the other Warm Delight Mini, as there are two in a pack) and my normal 1,500 calories. Still, I really need to learn to eat only when I’m hungry; after I had my treat, I kind of just mindlessly snacked for the rest of the day because I “had the calories” (except not really, because I ATE A WHOLE PINT OF ICE CREAM AND A CHOCOLATE BAR), and if I had had bonus calories available I know I would have plowed through those, too. So, while I’m doing better with my eating habits, I need to keep my regular healthy eating habits intact post-treat.

I think the thing is that you need to pretend you have amnesia after each meal, and just have your automatic “choice” be something healthy. Sometimes, I find that if I try to overcompensate for a big snack by not having my normal healthy dinner or lunch or whatever, I just end up eating the same amount of calories over the course of the rest of the day, anyway, because I snack so much. Weird. Maybe I’ll just have to give myself a caloric “allowance” for days when I indulge in the future to prevent excessive snacking. Or, maybe I’ll actually get the hang of intuitive eating. LAWL.

Regardless, I am beginning to feel a bit … jiggly, but I’m trying to just give myself permission to indulge/gain weight in an effort to beat this binge habit. It’ll come off quick … right? And, at least I’m keeping up my excercise routine, so there is muscle tone underneath that thar pudge.

KTHXBAI.

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2 Comments

  1. December 12, 2009 at 12:06 AM

    Bahahahahaha. ❤ ❤ ❤

  2. julie said,

    January 8, 2010 at 2:47 AM

    I think bingeing is tied strongly to guilt and restriction, and as long as you feel guilty and stressed about eating things, you’re not going to get past it. To stop bingeing, I had to stop that cycle, tolerate the calories, not freak out. Very scary, but really took the air out of the binge’s sails, to use a strange analogy. I don’t binge anymore, and I sort of eat intuitively, or normally, or whatever people are calling it these days.


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