History Repeats

Ugh, I had another splurge last night, and I’m not that proud of this one; I was doing great all day, eating intuitively and the whatnot, when after dinner (which I waited until I was hungry to eat, around 7:30 p.m.) I was struck by the worst craving for something sweet. Well, I indulged it, and this would have been fine had I stopped with the one indulgence, but in addition to my ice cream/warm delight combo I also downed 3 Reese’s sticks and 8 Newman-O’s (which are very tasty, by the way). Granted, after I tallied up the damage I found it wasn’t as bad as last week’s splurge and I can still meet my goal of an 1,850 calorie average for the week, but only if I eat approximately 1,550 calories per day the rest of the week. Now, I would have much rather have had those calories I spent tonight spread out over the week—particularly since I was doing so well eating intuitively—but I just got into such a frenzy. And, I really have no idea why such an intense need to feed came over me all of a sudden. Alas. Now, I’ll have to count calories, because I really don’t want to see another gain this week.

I’m hoping the gains I’ve seen thus far while maintaining are just my metabolism readjusting to more calories (I have to remember that I’ve more or less only been eating 1,600 calories per day for the past year, and then some) and that soon maybe it’ll pick up.

I’m still sad, though, that I chowed so much when a normal person would have stopped at one treat. What came over me? Lesson learned, though; I can’t have things like cookies and whatnot in my personal space. I bought the Newman-Os last week and had been just letting them chill out until I could eat more than a few (I didn’ want to open the bag just to eat one and have the rest of the bag go stale), but I think with stuff like that I just end up only eating them when I get into a frenzy like I did tonight, rather than in moderation on a day-to-day basis because, really, I know I can’t enjoy just two cookies; that’s just not enough for me come snack time.

ARGH ANGRY. But, I’m not going to beat myself up about it; I have a midterm coming up tomorrow and had two essays due last week, and I think the stress is just catching up with me. That, and I’m wondering if I’m missing something in my diet; when I spoke to the nutritionist about cravings for sweets, she said that is generally a sign that your body isn’t getting enough fuel. And on the one hand I think, “Well, I’ve been pretty satisfied each day!” But on the other hand, I did run over 6 miles yesterday morning and I haven’t had any lean protein (unless you count eggs, hotdogs or the roast beef/tuna I put on my sandwiches) since my first week of school. Maybe I should just bite the bullet and go to the cafeteria/order something from a local restaurant for a protein boost. I’m also P.M.S.-ing, though, and I feel like a large meal would send me over the edge eating-wise, and I don’t want to have to diet next week! Though, I have a feeling I’m going to have to, if only as a preventive measure on account of the wedding I’m going to on the 7th of November—I’d hate to get on the scale the Friday before and be outside my goal range, and thus feel like I couldn’t enjoy myself at such a special event. This is really a bad time—what with the holidays coming up and a stressful schedule overall—to try and learn intuitive eating but, if not now, when? Regardless, I woke up this morning with a horrible appetite; maybe I should just eat what I want today without going overboard and start my diet program tomorrow? I don’t know what to do!

Edit: I just demolished six cookies before breakfast. This day is not heading anywhere good.

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2 Comments

  1. October 25, 2009 at 2:20 PM

    First off, oh my gawd I hate LA hobos. They are all batshit insane. At least the ones in San Francisco are more likely to just be really stoned.

    I LOVE Harvest Moon! Haha, which is your favorite edition? I love the PSone Back to Nature.

    Ok, I had the same thing happen to me last year. I couldn’t have cookies around me because I WOULD go hell for leather. Halloween+Almond Joys+almond butter = Mimi going to bed with a verrry full tummy. But you know what? I had been depriving myself so much up until then that, now that I think about it, no wonder I went crazy. When I was very overweight, I ate too much, but I never “binged” in the sense of having a feeding frenzy.

    So my first thought would be you have been depriving yourself. Then I read your post and, my dear, you’ve answered everything in it.

    “I have a midterm coming up tomorrow and had two essays due last week”

    Yup, stress makes you crave carbs because carbs regulate serotonin. Basically your body was wanting a happy pill.

    “I’m wondering if I’m missing something in my diet; when I spoke to the nutritionist about cravings for sweets, she said that is generally a sign that your body isn’t getting enough fuel.”

    That too–if you’re in a deficit, you are already not getting enough fuel. So either increase calories a little bit, or if your body is missing some KIND of nutrient, then assess what you’ve been eating and see if anything needs a boost.

    “I did run over 6 miles yesterday morning and I haven’t had any lean protein (unless you count eggs, hotdogs or the roast beef/tuna I put on my sandwiches) since my first week of school.”

    Eggs and tuna are FANTASTIC sources of lean protein. But if you’re just putting it on your sammies, then you aren’t getting enough. Actually, I always swear by protein. It’s thermogenic (ramps your metabolism a bit) AND sating. Plus, many forms of lean protein have iron and zinc, and eggs have HUGE stores of vitamins in the yolks. So definitely up the protein if you think you haven’t been getting enough. But you don’t need a fancy restaurant–what about some chicken breasts? Precooked shrimp?

    “I’m also P.M.S.-ing”

    Aaaah, we all tend to flip our shit when Auntie Flow comes.

    Anyway, those are my thoughts. But really, if you are trying to lose weight with intuitive eating, then delving too far into calories is going to have you spinning your wheels. Instead, if you get a sweet craving, ask yourself why. Perhaps eat some fruit? Drink some herbal tea? If it’s just a sweet tooth, those usually help. But if it’s something more, like lack of sleep or stress, then you’ll have to address that.

    • October 25, 2009 at 3:00 PM

      I was always a Nintendo purist growing up (I only picked up a PS2 about a year ago, and even then I felt … dirty), so I’ve only ever played the Harvest Moons available for those systems, but I hell of loved Harvest Moon for N64, which is apparently the Nintendo version of Back to Nature. Whoo! I always married Karen—I loved that hot, drunken wench.
      Also, I am going to go ahead and congratulate myself for totally ignoring logic. I looked over my dinners from the past week, and it looked like this:
      Hotdogs, Pasta, Pasta, Eggs and Toast, Eggs and Toast, Pasta, Pasta OMG WTF.
      I am def. going to go in search of some precooked shrimp and such, because this is just ridiculous.
      Fortunately, I’m not trying to lose weight, but I only hit my goal weight about two weeks ago, and my original plan was, “I’ll just count calories for the rest of my life! That way, I’ll never gain weight! Haha, I’m so clever HAHAHAHA.” And then I realized not everything has a calorie count. So, I’ve been trying intuitive eating, but I gained weight the past two weeks while doing so, so I’m kind of flipping my shit over that, too. I HAVE TOO MUCH GOING ON OVER WHICH I AM FLIPPING MY SHIT.


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