Oh, Ms. Crocker!

Other college students go out on Saturday nights.

I partake in threesomes.

Tonight’s participants: Myself, Mr. Haagen-Dazs and Ms. Betty Crocker.

You see, while at the grocery store today I decided to pick up the makings for my favorite bonus calorie-blowing dessert: A pint of vanilla Haagen-Daz and a Betty Crocker Warm Delight in Hot Fudge Brownie, which is delicious despite its vaguely disturbing brand name. “Warm Delight”? Really? I feel like after creating my delicious baked good I’m supposed to smear it all over my body rather than eat it. Seriously, though, while the product of a microwave mix certainly can’t compare to a fresh baked, from scratch cake, it more than satisfies a sweet tooth. For those of you unfamiliar with the product, you add a little water to a box-style mix (personally, I use milk rather than water—it makes the end result a little richer), microwave and voila—you have a wee hot cake. The mixes come with a topping of some kind, and in the case of the hot fudge brownie variety this is a bit of chocolate syrup that is a little too cloying sweet on its own for my taste. However, when you mix it up with the toasty brownie, it is much tastier. The brownie, itself, is more cake-like in texture than it is fudgy, but it is still somewhat dense and definitely satisfying. The chocolate taste is fairly strong, and similar to what you would get from a brownie made with a Betty Crocker box mix. I’ve also tried the Fudgy Chocolate Chip Cookie, which I would also highly recommend. It isn’t chewy like a regular cookie, though; instead, it’s kind of like a cake cookie. It’s a bit less rich than the brownie variety, which might be preferable for some. The only drawback is the relatively high calorie count: the Hot Fudge Brownie is 370 calories per pop, and the Fudgy Chocolate Chip Cookie is 340. Dang, woman. Personally, I think they’re well worth it, but you can always try the Warm Delight “Minis,” which are only 150 calories. However, the Minis only come in four flavors, those being Molten Chocolate Cake, Chocolate Raspberry Decadence, Molten Caramel Cake and Decadent Dark Chocolate. Of these, I’ve tried Molten and Decadent Dark Chocolate Cakes, and while they’re good I don’t think they’re as flavorful as the Hot Fudge Brownie or the Fudgy Chocolate Chip Cookie. That, and they are just too damn small; unless you’re one of those people who can be satisfied with a small sampling of sweet, you’ll still be wanting more when your spoon sadly scrapes the bottom of the plastic bowl.

Regardless, when paired with a bit of ice cream I go absolutely ape-shit bananas over these things, particularly when that ice cream is Haagen-Daz Vanilla (which, I’d like to add, is the creamiest, purest-tasting vanilla ice cream I have yet to come across) or—if I’m feeling particularly naughty—a mix-in filled flavor like Ben & Jerry’s Turtle Soup. Seriously, you know how you watch those food commercials where a lady is getting her nosh on and she closes her eyes all satisfied, and you are like “No one actually does that”? Someone does do that, and it is me while eating ice cream and Warm Delights off of my naked body. Except for that last part. That would be really weird.

Man, I have homework to do, but after my foray I just want to sleep. So drowsy …



  1. Yum Yucky said,

    October 4, 2009 at 9:20 AM

    This post is leaving me feeling contaminated with hunger and happily greedy. It’s like Harlequin for foodies.

    • October 4, 2009 at 10:58 AM

      I think I’m going to start a bodice-ripper series starring various food figures; in my first novel, a lonely Mrs. Butterworth seeks comfort from Aunt Jemima. Sexy breakfasts ensue.

      P.S. – Do you mind if I link to your blog, Josie? I don’t like to do so unless I’ve asked permission, as I feel like otherwise the author of said blog will stumble across my site and sue me for associating them with “disgusting food porn” without their consent.

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