Weigh-In Day: Week of June 25th/Body Snark

Ugh, dude’s my eating habits! They are hell of terrible. I weighed in at 127.2 today (Good!), but I fear that a great evil is returning to the land … the evil of …

Binge eating. (HOLY GOD, BAD)

But, I’m not sure if I should be legitimately concerned; I splurged three days this week to celebrate my birthday (which is today, actually, but for some reason I thought I should celebrate this weekend since I was working today, and then today rolled around and my mom and were like, “BOO ANTI-CLIMATIC BIRTHDAY LET’S CELEBRATE AGAIN!”), but I’m not sure if any of those days on which I splurged were actually a “binge,” or if I would have even splurged (binged?) today had I not weighed-in within my maintenance range this morning. But, on the days I splurged (BINGED?!?1?), I never ran out to buy extra stuff because I just thought, “SCREW IT! I’M OUT OF CALORIES!” but I did eat past the point of being full, and if I were in a store, I would impulse-buy a candy bar and chomp it without really thinking. Though, at the beginning of the week I was also only 124.6 pounds, and I’m not sure if I would have overdid-it had this not been the case/had I not been celebrating my birthday. Blergh. On the other hand, I know I am entirely in control of what I stuff in my face and I know I don’t want to go back to dieting and I KNOW that even though I splurged I am still within my maintenance range (and that’s part of the glory of maintenance, some weeks you eat more and some weeks you eat less but it is OK to eat more some weeks), so what am I really concerned about? Still, I kind of feel like normal people don’t gain 2.6 pounds while celebrating special events. Hm. Baby steps, I reckon.

I do have to give myself kudos, though, for taking some steps to not overeat:

a) When eating out and sharing an appetizer, I took what I deemed to be an appropriate portion off the group plate and then didn’t go back any more.

b) If I could eat healthfully, I did; I tried not make the days on which I splurged (BINGED?!?2?!?!@!? OH MY GOD I DON’T KNOW) into an all-day eating fest, and would start with something healthy like oat bran.

c) I tried to think about what I really wanted. Whereas before if I were having a “splurge” day I would just get everything and anything, I legitimately tried to keep my snacking to a minimum while out celebrating/shopping so I would have room for dinner at ze restaurant we were going to.

And, so on. OH, MAN, LOOK AT THAT LIST, SO IMPRESSIVE.

Regardless of whether I binged or splurged, though, I’m going to go back to counting calories and do a sugar detox (ie.e, no “dessert products), just for the next two weeks. I know I don’t really need to, and I’d like to get to a point where I don’t have to follow a celebratory event with calorie counting, but I just want to play it safe and make sure I don’t continue overeating. Also, every once and a while when I overdo it on the sugar, I kind of like to put a little distance between myself and the desserts and have a nice stint of clean eating to get my system back in order, you know?

In other news, a funny thing happened on my way to the forum.

Wait, no. A funny thing happened while I was out shopping (at the mall, no less, even though I detest crowds of people.) Long story short, my mother and I stopped by Eddie Bauer while we were out and decided to pick up some summer clothes. I happened to try on a dress and attract the attention of a salesperson, who began engaging my mother in the following conversation:

Salesperson: “Oh, my goodness! She looks so good in that dress!” (Aw, that’s nice.)

Mum: “Yeah, it looks really cute on her!”

Salesperson: “Ugh, she’s so thin! Look at her.” ( … OK.)

Mum: “Ha, yes, I used to be that thin at her age, too, though.”

Salesperson: “Ugh, yes, me too. Ugh, I hate her, she’s so thin! Let’s stop looking at her.” ( … WTF?)

It was just … odd. And, in this vein, I’m tired of “thin” being used as a compliment. In fact, I’m tired of size-related adjectives in general being used as compliments or insults. In my opinion, body preference is kind of like someone’s taste in movies or books or art; to each their own, ja? So, why OK to hate on or compliment someone for being overweight or underweight? For all that salesperson knew, I could have been a recovering anorexic, and her comments could have triggered a re-emergence of my eating disorder. And, not to be corny, but bodies can be beautiful at any size: Why has one shape become the standard for attractiveness? Can’t beauty come in a variety of sizes? And, why do we assume that all women want to be twigs? Likewise, why do “real women have curves?” Are chemotherapy patients who can’t keep weight on not “real women”? And, maybe some women pride themselves on being overweight or voluptuous or muscular.

/end rant

Gah, I wish I were better at organizing my thoughts. But, you get the jist, right?

Have you ever been the victim of “body snark?”

4 Comments

  1. July 1, 2010 at 4:50 PM

    Ew. That salesperson is a jerk. Imagine if you were really overweight, and she said “Ew, I hate her, she’s so fat! Let’s stop looking at her.” I mean, I know that takes away the whole “compliment” aspect of her comment, but still, it’s pretty much the same level of rudeness. I know it’s supposed to be some weirdly veiled compliment, but geez “I hate her, let’s stop looking at her”? I mean, what that says to me is “I’m so seething with jealousy that I can’t even look at you and I hate you [what a strong word, btw] because of your body size.” I mean, uh, really?

    Likewise, I hate when people say “Real women have curves.” That’s the stupidest phrase I’ve ever heard. Good example with the cancer patients, there.

    Re: splurges vs binges: I sometimes have a LOT of trouble distinguishing the two. Did you feel totally out of control? Was the splurge/binge premeditated and did you think before hand “I am going to eat whatever I want now because I can because I have an excuse because it’s my birthday and I’m probably going to regret it but I just can’t control myself.”

    If yes, then it’s probably a binge! But I don’t think that was the case, so then it’s probably just a splurge. Splurges are ok! Or hell, maybe it was somewhere in between. That’s ok too. Sometimes certain things just don’t want to be categorized. Like, really androgynous people, or, actually, that’s the only example I can think of.

    PS, happy birfday!!

    • July 1, 2010 at 5:09 PM

      a) Aw, thank you!
      b) Yeah, man, she was a jerk! Also, she was the worst salesperson ever: Yes, you are telling me you hate me, now I totally want to buy things from you! LET ME GET RIGHT ON THAT. It was just hell of uncomfortable all around, regardless.
      c) Ugh, yeah, even though I started off healthy today, I definitely took a “man, screw it! It is my birthday (see: birthday, party like it’s) and I’m within my maintenance range I am gonna chomp what I want!” attitude. So, I guess I’d be kind foolin’ myself if I were like, “today was totally not a binge! OM NOM NOM NOM.” And, true life, some things are definitely in between, but that bothers me on account of my anal-retentive need to put everything in a neat little category. Like, Pat (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pat_(Saturday_Night_Live). IS IT A HE OR A SHE?!
      d) Do you have contact info on your blog? I wanted to ask you about what WoW server you’re on, but I didn’t want to ask on your actual blog in case you didn’t want to disclose that info. to the general public. Hell, you may not want to disclose it to me, either, and I ‘spect (i.e., “respect”) that.

      • Allison said,

        July 1, 2010 at 9:41 PM

        Hi! yes! I just added my email to my blog. Just shoot me an email at blackkitten21@gmail.com and be like “YO GIMME YOUR DEETS” or whatever, and I’ll let you know the details of my toon/server/guild/whatever. :D

  2. July 9, 2010 at 10:04 PM

    [...] of my week sitting on my ass, mourning the loss of this week’s pay check. It was nice to do a bit of a sugar-detox, too, even though I only made it until Wednesday sans dessert. I broke upon sighting the Dairy [...]


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